Category Archives: guests

Guest Dressed

Your primary focus is on your dress, what your fiancé is going to wear and the clothing for the wedding party. However, there are things to consider regarding your guests as it is YOUR day and some things aren’t appropriate.

White: Wearing white (or even a shade of it) should not be done which goes without saying. Unless you have a black and white theme or specifically request certain people to wear it, doing so is unacceptable.

Black: No one wants a color associated with funerals and grief. If someone feels more comfortable wearing a darker hue, a shade of blue or dark green is fitting. After all, it’s a celebration and colors should be cheery and upbeat.

Sparkles: Guests might want to add a little accent to their outfit but going overboard is disrespectful. That should be saved for their own wedding day as lighting and photography will catch the glimmer and outshine you even if not intended.

The best way to avoid any mishaps is to include a dress code on your invitations. Even if you say semi-casual, your guests should dress up rather than down. To avoid any confusion, include an option where you can be contacted with questions.

Regretfully Speaking

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When planning your wedding, excitement takes over and it may seem like you’ve covered every detail due to the sudden obsession that kicks in. Unfortunately, there is remorse that brides have looking back on their big day that should be considered. Here are just a few:

Ceremony: It is easy for your pastor to get carried away or for you to write long vows, but many brides wish their ceremonies were shorter in retrospect as not only did they get bored but worried their guests did too.

Time Spent: Brides often lament getting caught up in making everything perfect, taking photos, feeling overwhelmed at their new life change that they wish they had taken more time to have one on one time with family and close friends. When you are in a rush, it is difficult to focus anything other than what you’ve tried to make perfect but some of the most meaningful moments get left out.

Social Media: It should go without saying that people would turn cell phones off and not take personal photos, but many don’t think to do so. Also, sharing of your wedding pictures on social media is not often appreciated as they are for you do to so when you are ready.

Invitation Obligation: Inviting people out of guilt raises your costs and possibly makes you feel uncomfortable. You should be surrounded by people you love and care about. Inevitably, there will be a few people who will be on the guest list without choice, but you should only invite people that you genuinely want to be with.

Perfection Expectation: Every bride puts in so much time and energy to make everything perfect and many regret that their expectations weren’t met. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. Anticipate snafus and go with the flow. At the end of the day, you will be with the love of your life as a wife forever.

It’s important that you look back on your wedding day without disappointment. It will be as it should be despite what you’ve planned and it is one of the most important days in your life. That alone makes it perfect.

Engagement Advice

  1. Enjoy the moment before spilling the beans. There will be plenty of time for everyone to congratulate you, wish you well etc. but the biggest moment in your life is between you and your fiancé. Spend some time just cherishing the proposal before announcing it to everyone.
  2. Don’t get lost in your wedding day. So much time, energy and planning has gone into it that it’s easy to get caught up with you guests. You don’t want to look back and realize that you didn’t have any special moments with your new husband.
  3. Be yourself. You would be so upset if upon reflection, you realized you didn’t have what you wanted because you wanted to please your guests.  It’s YOUR day and should be exactly how you want it to be. Those who love you will be over the moon with anything you choose.
  4. Remember that it’s not all about you. Your fiancé is just as important and what he wants should be considered. Even if it doesn’t fit into your vision and some grooms don’t have any interest, if he wants something included, you should make a point to do so.
  5. Communication is very important especially before you get married. It is the foundation of every relationship and you need to be open with one another about everything to ensure your marriage will last. If you don’t start off on a solid foundation, your chances are greatly reduced.

Marriage is so important and it is easy to get caught up in the moment. However, there are things that need to be established and considered prior to walking down the aisle (and during your ceremony) in order to increase the chances of lifelong happiness.

You will get advice from all angles and some will be fitting and some won’t work for you but there are fundamentals that set you up for a strong, long lasting marriage.

Don’t Forget the Small Stuff

On your big day, it feels like every moment will forever be ingrained in your memory and many of them will. Like everything else though, time will blur and erase some of them. As life progresses and other monumental events happen, memory banks are replenished, hence the importance of photographs. There are pivotal shots every bride focuses on but some that are equally important that may not be considered. Here are a few of those:

Before Shots:  You will have countless glamorous photos looking more beautiful than you ever have. The moments before you start getting ready will highlight your inner glow, undeniable excitement and the naturally beautiful woman your fiancé is committing his life to.

First Look: The first time your fiancé sees you walking down the aisle is priceless as his emotions are unplanned, can’t be hidden and are as heartfelt and unfiltered as can be.

Decorations: While you will never forget the time spent planning every detail, the vision of exactly how it all came together will likely fade. While most brides focus on their guests and festivities, as the saying goes “it’s all in the details” and reminders of those are equally important.

Your Gown: Snap your dress on the hanger before it’s been worn. The instant you put it on, dirt, makeup, food etc. will leave marks that are nearly impossible to remove. Take time to memorialize all its glory after it’s been prepared for you to step into.

Candid Moments: Some of the best shots are those that aren’t posed or planned. Capture everyone when they think no one is looking. Perhaps not the most flattering, these are the most realistic and fun reflections of your special day and the wonderful time had by all.

There are standard photos expected of every couple that every photographer takes. While those are important, equally so are ones that document the smallest details, unplanned moments and emotions that cannot be found in a posed picture.

Tis the Season

If your heart is set on a particular day, choosing your wedding date is one less thing to worry about. If you aren’t one who falls in that category, selecting the right time can be more challenging than you think as there are factors to consider. Breaking down the pros and cons of each season is a good place to start and, at the very least, helps narrow down your time frame.

Spring is the time of year associated with rejuvenation and newness as colors begin to reemerge and the climate warms following the drabness and cold of winter. The lush landscaping and countless flowers beginning to bloom make for wonderful photos and beautiful bouquets. Chances are your friends will be thrilled to get together and celebrate after the hullabaloo of the holidays is over.

Because it is not the most popular time for a wedding, you may be able to get lower rates with vendors but, with summer approaching, the competition will increase for venues, available dates and prices will begin to rise. Additionally, the weather can be finicky and occasional showers do occur without warning.

Summer is the most popular time to wed for a variety of reasons. With children out of school, parents often plan on a more relaxed schedule including vacation time which would allow your friends and family separated by distance to share in your special day with you. Also, due to the hectic nature of the first half of the year, chances are your guests haven’t been spending much.  Therefore, they may have a bit in their budget for extra special wedding gifts for you.

On the negative side, the first thing is the weather. Regardless of how cool the inside of a venue may be, the heat can cause issues with your hair and makeup during outdoor photos, not to mention the discomfort for those who either just don’t like the heat or cannot tolerate it well. On another note, because it is the most popular time for a wedding, prices will be at their peak and there is a chance that some of your guests may be invited to another ceremony on the same day.

Fall is ideal for you if you are a fan of oranges, gold, rust and darker colors as well as falling leaves and cooler, brisk temperatures. It is a time that brings with it a sense of togetherness and tranquility. With fruits, vegetables and leaves being abundant, there are numerous ways to create one-of-a-kind decorations that are not only elegant but incorporate the sentiments of these months.

Unfortunately, if berries and greenery won’t replace your heart’s desire for bright, vibrant flowers, this may not be the time of year for you unless you are willing to have flowers shipped in from wherever they may be available (at a very steep price). Also, school begins again, people have plans for Labor Day, Halloween and Thanksgiving so you need to keep those dates in mind.

Winter might not be your first choice (as it isn’t for most brides) but, with it comes an air of coziness and romance unmatched by any other time of year. Not only is everyone already feeling a sense of togetherness, the sun sets earlier and there is nothing warmer in the world than closely holding the arm of your new husband. Vendors are more likely to be available and because there is less competition, not only are prices typically already lower, there is often room for negotiation.

Despite the unexpected pros, there are some drawbacks. One is that the cold and lack of foliage can make outdoor photos less desirable so many of them may have to be done indoors. As well, your guests are probably saving money for the holidays, have preexisting plans and travel arrangements are much more expensive and difficult during this time.

Your wedding will be wonderful regardless of the day you choose but, realistically, no matter the day, there are always factors and possible conflicts that may arise which are out of your control. A seasonal breakdown is an easy way to quickly eliminate large spans of time so you can begin focusing on the particular day.

Let’s be ReaLISTic

Creating your guest list is no different from many other projects as you will start with a monumental idea only to realize the need for a more practical outcome. Whether you are planning a small, intimate ceremony or one to which you invite hundreds, there are some that should NEVER be included and others whom there is no obligation to extend an invitation to.  Here are just a few of those….

Certainly, there are people you see often and seemingly know every detail of your life, whether your manicurist, co-worker, boss etc. Therefore, you have had conversations about your upcoming marriage and perhaps each aspect of the planning process. However, neither that knowledge nor the amount of time spent together necessitate an invite.

There is no need to include all members of your family as, most likely, you have relatives with whom you don’t keep in contact with unless via holiday cards or see every few years if you happen to pass through their town or attend a family reunion. A great way to include them in your celebration (while alleviating feelings of guilt) is to send them an announcement along with a photo and personalized note.

It goes without saying that you exes belong in the “should NEVER be invited” category even if you have been apart for years and remain friends. Perhaps he/they has moved on as well but there is no assurance that seemingly long gone emotions won’t be stirred up. However, you can likely guarantee that his/their attendance would create an uncomfortable situation for your fiancé.

Plus ones are often expected to be included as some feel more comfortable attending an event which is a celebration of love, happiness and unity with their significant other rather than going alone. Of course, you should encourage your close family and friends to bring a guest. However, if you are not including certain relatives or others with whom you spend much of your time, there is no requirement to surround yourself with people you have never met.

Friends from high school with whom you only exchange occasional hellos with on social media, neighbors and friends of friends also fall into the “should NEVER be invited” category as you would not expect them to attend, mind if they didn’t or notice if they did. Also, it may seem as if their inclusion is merely an attempt to get more gifts as many do feel obliged to respond to an invitation in such a manner.

Chances are that you have heard all about weddings that you were not invited to and probably didn’t even give a second of thought to it. It is your day to be surrounded by those who mean the most to you. Including many who are either strangers or acquaintances casts a shadow over the value of ones you hold nearest and dearest.

You’re My Favor(ite)

Despite the fact that your guests should and probably do feel honored to be a part of your wonderful day, it is only appropriate that you give them favors as a token for their attendance, any gifts they have given you and especially if they have traveled or rearranged their schedule to attend. However, that is not an indication which requires spending a great amount of money nor be typical or easily anticipated.

One inexpensive way to kill two birds with one stone is to use small and economical containers, each filled with different sorts of succulents. On the front, you can put labels with the name of each guest and simply the number of their table at the reception. Therefore, not only does it keep you from making seating assignment cards but is a token of your appreciation which can grow and is long-lasting.

Select something meaningful and useful to which you can attach a card letting each guest know that you have made a donation to a charity on their behalf. No matter the organization, each attendant would be both surprised and humbled by the thought behind your decision to do so.

Find something local and unique to your area, whether candy, granola, tea etc. and package them in modest containers. If you wanted to extend yourself, cover the containers with local maps giving extra meaning to guests who have traveled for the occasion. If you choose not to use a map as a cover, simply fold it into a uniquely styled tag with a hand written message.

Any favor would be appreciated but there are many ways you can show your gratitude while both remaining in your budget and thinking outside the box.