Tag Archives: guests

I Should Have Guest It Wasn’t Free

A wedding invitation is akin to a golden ticket. Your choice to include the recipient in this milestone of your life shows their importance. However, most brides, nor guests don’t initially realize these come with a price. Here is a short breakdown of some of the expenses:

Attire: Most buy a new outfit. Everyone wants to look their best and spend on average $155 on something special. If there is a dress code, it likely will be more. Your bridal party also must pay for their ceremony dresses too.

Gifts: Presents are typically given whether one can attend or not. The range is $50 to $100 for a friend and $150+ for those closer or family. The ladies (or gentlemen) who go to your shower and/or bachelorette party usually give additional items.

Travel: Guests from out of town have more expenses due to accommodations, flights etc. Prices of travel have increased exponentially due to the pandemic and space is limited. If the time can be turned into a vacation, many find the costs more budget friendly and easier to save for.

Other: Members of the wedding party usually foot the bill for the bridal shower and bachelorette party.  If you have a cash bar at your reception, tabs can quickly add up. If you choose a child-free wedding, some will have to find babysitters. The list goes on.

Statistics: A 2022 survey showed most people were invited to an average of four weddings a year and spent as much as $3,000 attending each. Nearly two-thirds of guests feel financially stressed. 37% said they couldn’t afford a present or new outfit and one-third had to decline attending because of the costs.

Nothing is impossible with things such as pay-later programs, establishing a wedding guest fund in one’s budget or renting rather than buying. Keep in mind, if some you care about can’t share in your big day, it’s likely nothing personal and they will be there in spirit.

Polite Guestures

Expectations are placed upon everyone both consciously and subconsciously in everyday life and the closer those individuals are to you, their significance increases and the more disappointing it is when they are not met. Under many circumstances, such expectancies are unwarranted but there are occasions when they are absolutely reasonable. One of those times is your special day and no one should be either angered by or less than accepting of your requests.

You don’t typically invite people to your wedding unless they mean something and/or are close to you. Each guest is chosen thoughtfully and for a particular reason especially if you’re getting married in a small venue but even if you’ve chosen a larger one as the numbers go up the costs do too.

While most people don’t immediately respond or even give much thought to what they get in the mail, it is appropriate for guests to RSVP promptly to your invitation as the attendees are a large factor in the size of venue required, number of favors to be purchased, amount of food necessary etc. Even if you do quickly receive an RSVP, conflicts sometimes may arise but it is only polite to be given notice if something comes up rather than simply not take part in the festivities. On your part, no offense should be taken on if it turns out that someone cannot attend despite the fact that your guests are chosen wisely and hold special meaning to you.

Aside from the obvious inclusion of your ceremony time on your invitations, it is always a good idea to add (in the fine print) a separate expected arrival time for your invitees. Unlike dates or family gatherings, tardiness to your wedding is both disrespectful and distracting as it takes the focus off your vows and the permanent merging of your life with that of your fiancé.

Consider suggesting appropriate attire (no matter how formal or relaxed your ceremony may be) as it is YOUR day and the focus should be on YOU. Unless you specifically request so, it is not appropriate for women to wear white for example. Additionally, perhaps someone just purchased a new and beautiful gown they’ve been waiting to wear and opt for your wedding as the place to do so. That is completely inappropriate so you need to kindly insinuate the motif of your affair so as to insure you are not outshined.

Let it be known that the only one taking photos of the ceremony is the photographer. If attendees want copies of their favorite moments, they can get them at a later time. If guests are taking shots during your ceremony at random times, flashes will be going off from every angle and not only distract and you and the officiant but also interfere with the professional pictures.

It goes without saying that one of the most important days in your life is one to be shared with those who are closest and most important. Being that they are just that, all should understand and even appreciate how important each (even the smallest) details are to you. You should not feel any sense of guilt, embarrassment or regret for assuming adherence to those things which will help make your day play out as flawlessly as you dream of.