Some of the
first things when preparing for your big day is to choose your pastor, the
wedding party and who will give toasts and speeches. All are very important
roles requiring time, energy and forethought both on your part and theirs.
Unfortunately, there are occasions when one or more will back out at the last
minute leaving you to wonder what to do.
upset. Life happens and those who accepted their positions did so out of care
for you. While it may throw you for a loop, there is surely a good reason
behind his/her decision.
If a member of your wedding party, replacing them is not the best idea. Who you choose will likely feel as if a backup and be hurt. It is perfectly acceptable to have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. However, if it’s your maid of honor or the best man, feel free to ask someone already chosen to change roles.
As far as
toasts and speeches go, people put time and effort into saying what they will
deliver. There’s no reason to ask someone new. It also puts a lot of pressure
on anyone to compose anything meaningful at the last minute.
For piece of
mind, you should (at some point in time) inquire why things changed but no
wedding is perfect and such questions should be addressed after your ceremony. The
best thing is that, at the end of the day, you have married your life partner.
When choosing who to include in your bridal party, issues must be considered other than who is closest to you or who you feel obliged to ask. The position entails more than simply standing by your side at the altar and may be more than some are willing to/can take on.
There is a cost that comes along with the duty. While you select the dresses, shoes and accessories, it is typically expected they purchase them on their own. Additionally, each commonly split the charges for the bachelorette party and bridal shower. As much as some may love to fill the position, it is just not feasible for them and you should not be offended by that.
Time and availability must be contemplated too. Most arrangements can be made via email or phone but some should be done in person to ensure everything is just as you want. However, it is not inappropriate to include someone who is unable to participate in every activity (depending their significance) without offending those who can.
Because someone accepts an invitation from a mutual friend yet declines yours is not indicative of importance or lack thereof. Circumstances change, other obligations have arisen and so on. They should still be invited as a guest though.
No wedding is going to go off flawlessly and there will undoubtedly be disappointments. They should not be taken personally nor create a cloud over what should be the shiniest day of your life.