Category Archives: bridal shower

Backing Out

Some of the first things when preparing for your big day is to choose your pastor, the wedding party and who will give toasts and speeches. All are very important roles requiring time, energy and forethought both on your part and theirs. Unfortunately, there are occasions when one or more will back out at the last minute leaving you to wonder what to do.

Don’t get upset. Life happens and those who accepted their positions did so out of care for you. While it may throw you for a loop, there is surely a good reason behind his/her decision.

If a member of your wedding party, replacing them is not the best idea. Who you choose will likely feel as if a backup and be hurt. It is perfectly acceptable to have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. However, if it’s your maid of honor or the best man, feel free to ask someone already chosen to change roles.

As far as toasts and speeches go, people put time and effort into saying what they will deliver. There’s no reason to ask someone new. It also puts a lot of pressure on anyone to compose anything meaningful at the last minute.

For piece of mind, you should (at some point in time) inquire why things changed but no wedding is perfect and such questions should be addressed after your ceremony. The best thing is that, at the end of the day, you have married your life partner.

Join My Party???

When choosing who to include in your bridal party, issues must be considered other than who is closest to you or who you feel obliged to ask.  The position entails more than simply standing by your side at the altar and may be more than some are willing to/can take on.

There is a cost that comes along with the duty. While you select the dresses, shoes and accessories, it is typically expected they purchase them on their own. Additionally, each commonly split the charges for the bachelorette party and bridal shower. As much as some may love to fill the position, it is just not feasible for them and you should not be offended by that.

Time and availability must be contemplated too. Most arrangements can be made via email or phone but some should be done in person to ensure everything is just as you want. However, it is not inappropriate to include someone who is unable to participate in every activity (depending their significance) without offending those who can.

Because someone accepts an invitation from a mutual friend yet declines yours is not indicative of importance or lack thereof. Circumstances change, other obligations have arisen and so on. They should still be invited as a guest though.

No wedding is going to go off flawlessly and there will undoubtedly be disappointments. They should not be taken personally nor create a cloud over what should be the shiniest day of your life.

Shower Me with Love

Bridal showers are a fun and intimate way to celebrate your upcoming nuptials with your friends and family. Of all the things that must be considered when planning your wedding, thankfully it is one item on the list that you typically don’t have to take care. However, because (most often) it won’t completely catch you off guard, there are details to keep in mind.

The event is not the responsibility of your mother, mother-in-law or any of your relatives to coordinate. It is the duty of your maid of honor and/or bridesmaids to put together, including the guest list and invites, location, cost etc. It is important to have some conversations so as to help ease in the planning process and avoid any snafus. However, for the most part, the details of the celebration should be something you are surprised by.

Showers are usually reserved for those most meaningful to you and certainly not for every female you have asked to share in your actual day. It is imperative that the hostess is aware of who has been invited to your ceremony as it is never appropriate to ask someone to attend the shower who is not on your guest list. After all, much of the conversation will involve your wedding and reception which would be very hurtful and unacceptable to include someone in who wasn’t important enough to extend an invitation to.

Timing is important as there is an appropriate window in which your shower should be held that is between two months and two weeks away from the ceremony. As you day approaches, things will get more hectic and seemingly overwhelming so, while it will be a nice break from it all, it shouldn’t be something that becomes inconvenient or that you dread. Additionally, it goes without saying that the date and time should be ones that are available for all invitees as well as in a convenient location.

While typically everyone at your shower will come bearing gifts, don’t expect them to be grand or over-the-top as they will (and should) be much less significant than your actual wedding gifts. It is appropriate for the host to include your registry in the invitations but you also should expect that some may not give you anything at that time. Everything you do receive, no matter how large or small, should be appreciated, treated equally and thanked for.

Bridal showers are meant to be fun, to add an extra amount of excitement as well as a way to relax and just cherish your engagement. There should be no expectations and solely appreciation that people love and care about you enough to plan, organize and absorb the costs of doing something special and celebratory for you.