Best Kept Hidden Secrets

It goes without saying that every detail of your wedding, from the smallest to the largest, comes with a cost although it may be surprising that the price tag you see or are quoted is not the price you will actually be expected to pay. Many times, fees are added that either aren’t mentioned or that you certainly wouldn’t expect (although later you can be told that you should have). Here are just a few….

Invitations are representative of your motif and you want them to appear engaging, charming as well as welcoming. It is very easy to be sold on more decorative invites, heavier cardstock or are simply bulkier. What may not cross your mind is that you have to pay extra postage for each of those, not to mention the costs for RSVP cards and thank you notes all of which quickly add up. The message is the same and may be presented equally creatively in a simpler and more cost effective fashion.

While your dress should be the first (if not only) item to splurge on depending on your budget, it’s important to consider that the listed price is not the amount you are going to veritably spend.  The vast majority of dresses require alterations which are not included in the cost of the gown but your veil, jewelry, undergarments etc. must be accounted for as well. Modifications alone can set you back up to $500 unless you are lucky enough to find a bridal shop where everything is included for a set fee.

Customarily, when you pay for a service, whether a photographer, DJ, coordinator, use of your venue etc., the quoted amount is for a specific period of time. It may take you longer to get ready than expected, causing the wedding to run late and it’s easy to lose track of time during the subsequent celebration. Be aware that, just as with any other profession, additional charges accrue for overtime. Either you need to be exceptionally aware of your schedule or set aside a portion of the budget in anticipation to cover overages.

Although your wedding day is one of the most special in your life and has tremendous meaning to you, at the end of the day, to most vendors, it is a way to make a living and a means to an end. It is important that you don’t spend every penny allocated without being aware of unforeseen expenditures as almost every aspect of your special day will include them.

I’d Rather be Apart from You

Each guest at your wedding realizes their meaning solely based on having been invited (even those who are plus ones). A kind gesture is to take it a step further to both demonstrate your personalities and uniquely individualizes your union from any other.

  1. As each person arrives, have a fresh flower pin or hair clip for women and miniature boutonniere for the men each with a personalized name tag. Doing so shows thoughtfulness and creates a sense of congruency for group photos.
  2. Rather than a rose or sand ceremony, plant the seeds of your favorite flower together during your ceremony. It’s a fantastic recognition of the new journey you are embarking on and will serve as a reminder as you watch it grow and flourish.
  3. Provide a variety of colored pennant flags as your guests enter along with markers so as to write a single word on. It will fill the gap prior to the ceremony beginning but, more importantly, while you typically imagine leaving the venue to flower petals or rice, your married life will begin with waving of personalized and handwritten wishes.
  4. Rather than opting for typical banners, consider making your own. While needing to know the dimensions in order to hang them, the options are limitless in terms of what they could show. You could create collages of images with all of those you invited to make them feel appreciated or solely two of special moments with your fiancé.

When you start to plan your wedding, your mind goes immediately to what you’ve seen on TV, what you grew up dreaming of etc., but there are so many ways you can blend both tradition and personalization in ways that not only make it feel like your special day but also as if a very special day for each of your invitees.

I’d Like to Place an Order


When it comes to your bridal party, you may not give much thought to who stands where although there can easily be insinuations made by those you have chosen to include which can either be flattering or hurtful. It goes without saying that your matron of honor is traditionally your sister (if you have one) or best friend. That should not be offensive to anyone.

However, there are many ways to select an order for the remaining participants and the following are just a few ideas. While it can be potentially construed as hurtful, you can assign positions based on the nature of your relationship. It should not be lost on anyone you ask to stand next to you that they hold a special place in your heart and mean a great deal or else they wouldn’t be there.

One idea is that those who are closest to you (while each one is) stands nearest. That may be based on the number of years you have known them, the nature of your relationship or many other factors. Another option is to create an alignment in congruence with age.

It is completely appropriate to delegate who stands where based upon maturity. If you choose to do so, there will be no hard feelings as it would be difficult to find fault with any bride with that preference. If photos are one of the most important elements to you, a great way to appoint positions is height based in descending order so as to maximize the pleasance of each picture while keeping the focus on you and your husband.

The list goes on in reference as to how to determine who will stand where. It is yet another thing that brides don’t typically think requires any sort of consideration but, in actuality, does. Your decision is your own and is made because of your own personal reasons which are of the utmost importance.

Let’s Take a Shot

The fundamentals of wedding planning are synonymous with stress, a sense of inundation and often even some hair-pulling moments. When all is said and done though, the frustration and angst are forgotten. No matter how overwhelming things may seem, there are a few that should be nothing short of enjoyable, one of which being your engagement photos.

Despite how casual your ceremony may be, some of those in attendance will be guests of guests who have never met you nor have any inclination as to your personality, relationship or sense of humor. As well, even the most relaxed and informal weddings typically include traditions which tend to take away from your individuality.

While the photos of your special day will most likely be more formal than not, the engagement pictures that accompany your invitations don’t have to be so at all. Nonetheless, some consideration should be taken so you don’t look back and either feel regretful or as if your choice was simply cliché.

If you got engaged while having a picnic date, consider recreating that moment with the news written on a napkin. Maybe you’re avid hikers and can include a shot on a trail with your backpacks on. If there is something (anything) that everyone associates with your fiancé and yourself, depicting that is an option if you’d rather not share something unforeseen.

However, notifications written on a sandy beach, dates spelled out in scrabble tiles, snapshots wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m marrying him” and so on should probably be avoided.

Your wedding does not consist of a single day but the entire length of time beginning the day you get engaged and the planning starts. Each moment and aspect, no matter how mundane or irritating they may feel, should give your guests a glimpse into who you are and set you apart from every other bride.

My Site is Set on You

Likely, your initial thought when choosing who to celebrate your marriage with is to include everyone who has ever meant anything to you in your life. Then reality sets in, you realize your fiancé has a guest list as well and that, as the number goes up, so do your expenses, forcing you to reallocate your budget.

There are many reasons for selecting a venue among those being a place with sentimental value, somewhere you just happened upon and had a feeling about or a location which may not be your first choice but will accommodate the numbers of guests you have invited.

While every person you do invite most likely hopes to attend, not everyone will be able to. Some may immediately let you know via your RSVP cards but others cannot predict unforeseen circumstances and cannot inform you until much closer to the date.

One thing to consider is the number of guests coming from out-of-town. If they are family or very close to you, the likeliness of attendance is much higher than if they are friends from college for example. Typically, when averaging the two, approximately 55% of those coming from different locations will actually be present.

Local invitees are much more prone to commemorate your day with you so expect relatively 90% of those to attend. However, something may occur which keeps them from attending as well.

Therefore, your site should be chosen not by the capacity it is able to accommodate according to the number of invitations you send out (given it is not significantly less) but rather by what feels right and seems to be the ideal location. After all, if your heart is set on one particular place, modifications can always be made so as to execute what you’ve dreamed of.

Getting Equals Giving

Your wedding day is one for which you spend countless time planning and focusing on every tiny aspect. It is also an occasion when others give presents as well as of themselves to ensure everything turns out exactly as you imagine it will. What may not cross your mind is that it is a wonderful opportunity to give back to others.

Consider donating your flowers to a nursing home, hospital or other charitable organization as you won’t use them again and they will certainly brighten the day of many who would be far beyond appreciative of the gesture.

Most likely, you will put your dress in the closet and perhaps take it out occasionally as a remembrance of the commitment and love shared with your spouse but will never be worn again. There are countless women who cannot afford a dress. What a wonderful gift it would be to endow yours to a place dedicated to helping those who are forced to scrimp, save, delay their special day or never have it occur due to not being able to have either the dress of their dreams or one at all.

Pay it forward by giving time in the same way that your family and others who did for you to ones that don’t have individuals in their lives to do the same with planning, organizing, decorating, etc.

The most beautiful way to start off your life with your soul mate is by knowing that you have given of yourself so someone else has the same opportunity to do so with theirs.

A MEmento to YOU

 

For the most part, brides and grooms exchange gifts (through third parties) on their wedding day both as a way to calm one another’s nerves and to remind each other of the excitement and preparedness for the moments, days and years to come. It is the meaning which is important and not the opulence or cost but it serves as a lasting reminder of the commitment made. While many brides choose gifts such as cuff links or watches, it’s fun to think outside of the box and give something one of a kind.

Go to a paint-your-own-pottery location and spend time creating something unique which would be representative of a memorable moment in your relationship. You can guarantee that, while it may not look perfect (unless you are an artist), it will be significant and the thought, time and energy invested are what make it sentimental. It could be anything from a bowl for him to eat cereal or soup out of to a monkey that reminds you of a date at the zoo. Most places have countless options to choose from.

Find a small box (perhaps with a personalized charm) and fill it with small one-sentence reasons why you are so excited for your future. Many can fit into the container and it’s a gift that he will be able to keep, open in the future, randomly select one and be reminded of your love for him.

Gift him with tickets to see his favorite team play with some of his friends. That way, he can relax and remember that, while marriage is complete devotion to one another, neither of you has to lose your individuality in the process.

Personalize a key chain. It doesn’t have to be ornate or flashy. Engrave your wedding date, a special message or something as simple as a heart. It’s just another way to provide a daily reminder of what your relationship and marriage mean to you.

No matter what you choose, it will be a representation of your union and the meaning behind the decision to spend your life together. Whether you’ve been married a day, a month, a year or twenty, it’s always nice to have a keepsake of the love, happiness and devotion you feel.

 

Making a Blueprint

You chose your partner, said yes when you were proposed to and decided to devote your life to your fiancé for a reason. There is an emotional investment and most of your free time is spent together but your knowledge is primarily based on life experiences, likes and dislikes etc. Getting caught up in love, the future, compatibility and how special you feel makes you forget the inevitable differences which certainly will arise.

Relationship stages differ but even more so after you exchange vows. Pre-marital counseling (usually conducted by your officiant) improves marriage success rates as it involves learning tools to handle uncomfortable situations. Another advantage is that the sessions are completely private and the words will not leave the walls in between which they are spoken.

Making a plan of action:  It is important to be on the same page as far as the future is concerned. Once things become real, locking down the number of children you want, how and with whom you will spend holidays, who will play what role in the home among many other things will change once you realize that you’ve now made fun, flirty and exciting a lifelong commitment.

Outside source:  An officiant is typically older, wiser, been married for many years and has wisdom that you may not yet. He/she can provide advice based on the issues they have already treaded through. You will learn ways of communicating that maybe haven’t crossed your mind or not been needed so far. Perhaps topics have been approached but often one responds in ways they feel will please their partner instead of what they actually want. Conversation tools will certainly benefit in minimizing future difficulties.

You need to keep an open mind as chances are you will hear things that you may not want to. The goal is not to win but to be completely honest and be willing to change things that maybe your fiancé has seemingly been fine with but actually always been irked by. It is also a time to show gratitude for being able to put everything out on the table and address the matters that could easily manifest themselves and lead to deterioration as time passes.

Bring on the Band

 

 

Growing up, every girl dreams of a Cinderella dress and a big diamond ring. However, there is so much more meaning behind a ring with individual significance that will stand out and be uniquely your own. Bigger is not better nor does cost equal meaning. As of late, more and more fiancés are opting for rings that either aren’t solely diamonds or only have them as small embellishments on the sides.

Before selecting a stone other than a diamond, it is important that your fiancé makes sure you are okay with such a choice. You may be as unconventional as they come but still have your heart set on a diamond and he would never want something you would feel reluctant to show off.

However, there may be a very plain and simple ring you inherited that you couldn’t imagine wearing anything other than for the rest of your life, not because of the significance it holds from where it came but because it is just personally so beautiful to you that nothing could supersede it.

Certain stones have meanings behind them which personify your relationship, symbolize characteristics your fiancé sees in you or may indicate hopes for the future. They may not be the stone you would have first imagined wanting but upon finding out the detonation behind the choice, you most likely will completely change your mind.

Additionally, sometimes the simplest rings such as lattice patterns or modest knots come with an incredible amount of forethought and signification to them as they represent the two of you being interlaced for the rest of your lives.

A ring is something that should hold special significance to you, something that you look at and every time you do, makes you think of the individual meaning behind. It should never be a show piece or anything solely to impress others. Your ring is an item that only you will have, no one can duplicate and it is important to keep in mind that the reasoning behind it is a reminder of why you chose to marry the person you did.

Knot Going Overboard

Many brides feel as if a more expensive wedding showcases a greater amount of love for their fiancé, more of a commitment or an increased amount of sincerity to their guests. Weddings, however, are not competitions and you can easily be just as happy paying the small filing fee at the courthouse for your license and that being the end of it.

Despite the growth of the wedding industry, studies show that as the amount spent on ceremonies decreases, the likelihood of marriages being successful and lasting increases. There are many reasons this could be the case and here are a few…

Spending a great deal on a particular day (although being the most important barring having children), will begin your new life with a huge amount of debt. The beauty is that intimacy, commitment and a lifelong promise are each actually free. The only cost is that is of being willing to give your heart and all that you have to someone else.

Favors are most often left behind as, without being unkind, in a short amount of time, no one really wants a match book with your wedding date inscribed on it nor do they care about personalized wine glasses. If you choose to give gifts, make them edible, seeds to plant in their yard or a meaningful reminder which will be lasting neither of which cost very much.

Choose a pair of shoes you already own and feel comfortable in. Most gowns are long enough that your footwear won’t even be seen and, as you will be spending many hours of the day on your feet, chances are you’ll end up taking them off/changing out of them anyway. Additionally, pain or discomfort can be noticeable and add an unwanted quirkiness to your gait as you walk down the aisle. Doing so not only makes you have one less thing to worry about but will often save several hundred dollars.

Paper seems a minimal expense as it is never something very costly. However, most likely, individualized place cards and menus are produced on card stock, will have to be duplicated (one for the menu and another for the seating location) and the cost increases infinitely as the number of guests does. To be more cost-effective, have a single menu at each table listing the names of every invitee at the table, as typically, it is unnecessary for each person to have their own list. Menus and place cards are other items that no one is going to take home, hold on to nor will most likely even recall.

The one element of your wedding day that matters doesn’t cost a single penny, won’t put you into debt, won’t be remembered by your guests and won’t cause you a single minute of stress or anxiety. Sometimes, that gets lost in the mix but it is very important to keep in mind as, in an industry that makes brides so easily get caught up in the smallest details, the sole reason the event is happening is temporarily forgotten.