Category Archives: Ideas

Making a Blueprint

You chose your partner, said yes when you were proposed to and decided to devote your life to your fiancé for a reason. There is an emotional investment and most of your free time is spent together but your knowledge is primarily based on life experiences, likes and dislikes etc. Getting caught up in love, the future, compatibility and how special you feel makes you forget the inevitable differences which certainly will arise.

Relationship stages differ but even more so after you exchange vows. Pre-marital counseling (usually conducted by your officiant) improves marriage success rates as it involves learning tools to handle uncomfortable situations. Another advantage is that the sessions are completely private and the words will not leave the walls in between which they are spoken.

Making a plan of action:  It is important to be on the same page as far as the future is concerned. Once things become real, locking down the number of children you want, how and with whom you will spend holidays, who will play what role in the home among many other things will change once you realize that you’ve now made fun, flirty and exciting a lifelong commitment.

Outside source:  An officiant is typically older, wiser, been married for many years and has wisdom that you may not yet. He/she can provide advice based on the issues they have already treaded through. You will learn ways of communicating that maybe haven’t crossed your mind or not been needed so far. Perhaps topics have been approached but often one responds in ways they feel will please their partner instead of what they actually want. Conversation tools will certainly benefit in minimizing future difficulties.

You need to keep an open mind as chances are you will hear things that you may not want to. The goal is not to win but to be completely honest and be willing to change things that maybe your fiancé has seemingly been fine with but actually always been irked by. It is also a time to show gratitude for being able to put everything out on the table and address the matters that could easily manifest themselves and lead to deterioration as time passes.

Bring on the Band

 

 

Growing up, every girl dreams of a Cinderella dress and a big diamond ring. However, there is so much more meaning behind a ring with individual significance that will stand out and be uniquely your own. Bigger is not better nor does cost equal meaning. As of late, more and more fiancés are opting for rings that either aren’t solely diamonds or only have them as small embellishments on the sides.

Before selecting a stone other than a diamond, it is important that your fiancé makes sure you are okay with such a choice. You may be as unconventional as they come but still have your heart set on a diamond and he would never want something you would feel reluctant to show off.

However, there may be a very plain and simple ring you inherited that you couldn’t imagine wearing anything other than for the rest of your life, not because of the significance it holds from where it came but because it is just personally so beautiful to you that nothing could supersede it.

Certain stones have meanings behind them which personify your relationship, symbolize characteristics your fiancé sees in you or may indicate hopes for the future. They may not be the stone you would have first imagined wanting but upon finding out the detonation behind the choice, you most likely will completely change your mind.

Additionally, sometimes the simplest rings such as lattice patterns or modest knots come with an incredible amount of forethought and signification to them as they represent the two of you being interlaced for the rest of your lives.

A ring is something that should hold special significance to you, something that you look at and every time you do, makes you think of the individual meaning behind. It should never be a show piece or anything solely to impress others. Your ring is an item that only you will have, no one can duplicate and it is important to keep in mind that the reasoning behind it is a reminder of why you chose to marry the person you did.

Knot Going Overboard

Many brides feel as if a more expensive wedding showcases a greater amount of love for their fiancé, more of a commitment or an increased amount of sincerity to their guests. Weddings, however, are not competitions and you can easily be just as happy paying the small filing fee at the courthouse for your license and that being the end of it.

Despite the growth of the wedding industry, studies show that as the amount spent on ceremonies decreases, the likelihood of marriages being successful and lasting increases. There are many reasons this could be the case and here are a few…

Spending a great deal on a particular day (although being the most important barring having children), will begin your new life with a huge amount of debt. The beauty is that intimacy, commitment and a lifelong promise are each actually free. The only cost is that is of being willing to give your heart and all that you have to someone else.

Favors are most often left behind as, without being unkind, in a short amount of time, no one really wants a match book with your wedding date inscribed on it nor do they care about personalized wine glasses. If you choose to give gifts, make them edible, seeds to plant in their yard or a meaningful reminder which will be lasting neither of which cost very much.

Choose a pair of shoes you already own and feel comfortable in. Most gowns are long enough that your footwear won’t even be seen and, as you will be spending many hours of the day on your feet, chances are you’ll end up taking them off/changing out of them anyway. Additionally, pain or discomfort can be noticeable and add an unwanted quirkiness to your gait as you walk down the aisle. Doing so not only makes you have one less thing to worry about but will often save several hundred dollars.

Paper seems a minimal expense as it is never something very costly. However, most likely, individualized place cards and menus are produced on card stock, will have to be duplicated (one for the menu and another for the seating location) and the cost increases infinitely as the number of guests does. To be more cost-effective, have a single menu at each table listing the names of every invitee at the table, as typically, it is unnecessary for each person to have their own list. Menus and place cards are other items that no one is going to take home, hold on to nor will most likely even recall.

The one element of your wedding day that matters doesn’t cost a single penny, won’t put you into debt, won’t be remembered by your guests and won’t cause you a single minute of stress or anxiety. Sometimes, that gets lost in the mix but it is very important to keep in mind as, in an industry that makes brides so easily get caught up in the smallest details, the sole reason the event is happening is temporarily forgotten.

 

Stand By Me

As society changes and modernizes, what is and isn’t acceptable does as well, weddings and just about every detail that goes into them being no exception. It has become appropriate to wear virtually any color that suits your fancy, opt for tennis shoes or cowboy boots instead of heels or even have your dog act as your ring bearer. Something else that has become admissible is choosing a man of honor in lieu of a matron of honor. If you make that decision, there are some things that you should give some thought to and here are just a few….

It is imperative that you discuss making that selection prior to doing so to ensure that your fiancé is okay with the idea, doesn’t feel disrespected or caught off guard. You also don’t want him to get the sense that the attention is taken away either from how wedding parties usually appear or by distracting or offending your guests by having a man at your side.

It goes without saying that donning a dress is not an option but a connection with your side of the party is paramount so as not to appear as if he is just standing in the wrong place. He should wear the same suit as the groomsmen. However, if they have ties on, his should differ by matching the color of your bridesmaids’ dresses and if boutonnieres are selected instead, his should coordinate with your bouquet in a different way than that of the others. In the event that neither are incorporated, a shirt in a matching shade to your bridesmaids is appropriate.

Your man of honor (also referred to as a male attendant) often takes on the duties that a maid of honor would such as helping you in your dress selection, deciding even the smallest details and holding your bouquet as you say your vows. The sole difference is that he is not a female.

You should not feel tied to appointing someone to the position due to a sense of obligation as, if someone is closer to you and their being the one standing next to you on your most important day would be more meaningful, that’s exactly what you should do. After all, you never want to look back and wish you’d made a different choice and certainly not one that was solely based on the influence of others.

Polite Guestures

Expectations are placed upon everyone both consciously and subconsciously in everyday life and the closer those individuals are to you, their significance increases and the more disappointing it is when they are not met. Under many circumstances, such expectancies are unwarranted but there are occasions when they are absolutely reasonable. One of those times is your special day and no one should be either angered by or less than accepting of your requests.

You don’t typically invite people to your wedding unless they mean something and/or are close to you. Each guest is chosen thoughtfully and for a particular reason especially if you’re getting married in a small venue but even if you’ve chosen a larger one as the numbers go up the costs do too.

While most people don’t immediately respond or even give much thought to what they get in the mail, it is appropriate for guests to RSVP promptly to your invitation as the attendees are a large factor in the size of venue required, number of favors to be purchased, amount of food necessary etc. Even if you do quickly receive an RSVP, conflicts sometimes may arise but it is only polite to be given notice if something comes up rather than simply not take part in the festivities. On your part, no offense should be taken on if it turns out that someone cannot attend despite the fact that your guests are chosen wisely and hold special meaning to you.

Aside from the obvious inclusion of your ceremony time on your invitations, it is always a good idea to add (in the fine print) a separate expected arrival time for your invitees. Unlike dates or family gatherings, tardiness to your wedding is both disrespectful and distracting as it takes the focus off your vows and the permanent merging of your life with that of your fiancé.

Consider suggesting appropriate attire (no matter how formal or relaxed your ceremony may be) as it is YOUR day and the focus should be on YOU. Unless you specifically request so, it is not appropriate for women to wear white for example. Additionally, perhaps someone just purchased a new and beautiful gown they’ve been waiting to wear and opt for your wedding as the place to do so. That is completely inappropriate so you need to kindly insinuate the motif of your affair so as to insure you are not outshined.

Let it be known that the only one taking photos of the ceremony is the photographer. If attendees want copies of their favorite moments, they can get them at a later time. If guests are taking shots during your ceremony at random times, flashes will be going off from every angle and not only distract and you and the officiant but also interfere with the professional pictures.

It goes without saying that one of the most important days in your life is one to be shared with those who are closest and most important. Being that they are just that, all should understand and even appreciate how important each (even the smallest) details are to you. You should not feel any sense of guilt, embarrassment or regret for assuming adherence to those things which will help make your day play out as flawlessly as you dream of.

I’ll Take Care of You

Part of your wedding includes the experiences that you have along every step of the way and those often impact the decisions you make. It is important that each element is made to seem just as meaningful to those involved as it is to you and that you’re made to felt like just a number or source of income.

For example, if while dress shopping, you are rushed to make a decision or only one of many being tended to simultaneously, most likely, you’d be peeved and shop at another location. If a photographer gave you a stringent amount of time he/she would be willing to be of service and was completely rigid and uncompromising, certainly you would look elsewhere.

The same can be said about your venue. Never can one roam around a location unattended and the personality and flexibility of the wedding contact have what may seem a minor (but is actually quite an important) impact on where you choose for your ceremony site. Aside from showing you the grounds, that individual will help you in many ways that a wedding planner would (at no cost) in the sense of ensuring that everything you want is just as you request but also tend to the smallest details as they have intimate knowledge of each aspect of the facility. Wedding planners are good go-to guides but usually end up having to reach out to the wedding contact so if you find an amiable one, you can save money and cut out the middle man.

Not only should contact via phone or email via easy, you should receive both a prompt and accurate response to any unforgotten questions or concerns you may have. Pliability is important as it is your day and if someone is unkind or insensitive, it makes a negative impact on your decision as it’s a reflection on the locale as a whole as well as others from the location who may be involved.

Kindness is key. While purchasing a gown or choosing your flowers, while your interactions are important, in actuality, most likely are quite limited. A wedding coordinator is different from a wedding planner as they know the ins and outs of your ceremony site and are more invested in assisting you and making sure everything is perfect. Therefore, a coordinator can be crucial in your planning experience and your interaction should be strongly considered.