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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

February 26, 2014

Your wedding is an occasion on which you share some of the most intimate moments of your life with those who are near and dear to you. Of course, there will be people in attendance who you don’t know such as the “plus ones” and some of those meaningful to your fiancé that you are not familiar with. Sharing one of your most important events is equally as meaningful to your friends and family as it is to you. However, there are some aspects that should be kept private and need not be addressed if they make you uncomfortable and/or should they arise.

Anything in reference to costs and pricing is off-limits and that should go without saying. Perhaps you will feel comfortable telling someone how much one particular thing ran such as your photographer or the veil for example (especially if the inquisitive one is someone who is preparing for a wedding of their own). However, you should never feel obligated to disclose anything in reference to money, who paid for what or anything of the like.

Inquisitions in reference to how you choose who to or not to invite are something else that you should never have to respond to. Perhaps it has something to do with your budget, might be related to how intimate you want your ceremony to be or maybe there is an unsaid conflict between two people who you are trying to avoid awkwardness between and keep from putting a damper on your day.

Your wedding is your own and something else that is not kosher is being asked whether your ideas in terms of planning and execution are yours alone or whether you “borrowed” them from someone else. Inspiration comes from countless places including magazines, photos, shopping and even weddings you’ve attended. You need not justify the reasoning behind any of your choices or decisions nor disclose where they came from.

The bridal party shouldn’t request another style or color of dress despite the fact that they are responsible for their own cost. You should definitely give some consideration to body shapes and sizes and perhaps choose different styles of the same dress (in the same shade of course). However, if someone would prefer something different, they most likely either had that at their own wedding or will when their special day arrives.

Every bride is different and if you choose to answer a question, go on and do so. However, you should never feel obligated to disclose any information that makes you uncomfortable or that you feel to be inappropriate. Your guests (and certainly your bridal party) should relish the moment and appreciate the fact they were invited to partake in your day. The details and decisions are not anyone’s business but yours and never need to be justified.

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