With so many things to focus on when planning your wedding, sometimes your vows end up being forgotten about. Many brides choose to recite the traditional vows, perhaps with a few tweaks, such as removing the “obey” portion. Although your wedding will be unique, just as each one is, writing personal vows gives each of your guests a glimpse into your relationship and what has brought you to the point you are at. Here are some pointers if you choose to do so…
First and foremost, make sure that personalized vows are permitted by the venue and/or officiant. There may be restrictions in the sense that you can only make small alterations to the conventional vows but not have complete freedom to write you own. In such a case, you need to prioritize and either find a location that allows you to recite what you want to say individually or opt to just make the changes allowed. If your heart is set on a certain venue, after all, you don’t want to spend countless hours doing something that will not be allowed.
If it is approved of, spend some time. Don’t just scribble something down the night before. Handwritten vows are extra special so it’s important that what you say is not something you will look back on and say “I wish I would have mentioned that…” However, you do need to be on the same page as you don’t want to say things that are lighthearted and make your guests laugh if he is going to say things that make people cry. It is imperative that both of you agree on the style of what will be said.
While the main purpose of writing your own vows is to add a special element to the ceremony, you don’t want to make references to anything your guests will not understand nor do you want to say anything that is too personal or that you will look back on and be embarrassed by. That doesn’t mean that every word you speak has to be something every single person is aware of. After all, there are the “plus ones” who don’t know you at all and personalizing your vows is a great way for them to feel as if they have gotten to know you a little bit through the words you choose.
There is nothing wrong with including quotes or portions of poems that are meaningful to you. Doing it on your own does not mean that every word has to be original or that you cannot reference something else. It doesn’t matter whether it is something that has always been meaningful just to you or if it is a saying that is important to both of you. There is also nothing wrong with using traditional vows if they have always been what you have dreamed of or what have special meaning to you.
Recite what you are going to say. Obviously, every bride and groom want to be able to say the words they have chosen without help but your wedding day is one that will make you nervous jut out of its importance. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with reading your most important words from a piece of paper if necessary. While you never want to regret having forgotten something you wish you would have said in front of all your guests, you can always tell your new husband privately.
Vows are a huge part of any wedding, whichever route you choose to take. They are something that needs to be addressed whether in terms of mild modifications or completely original words. While your own words are usually more meaningful both to you, your fiancé and your guests, don’t overlook their importance or put them off until the last minute.